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Modesty is not one of my virtues. At the time, virtue was not one of my virtues...
Actually, I think what would be most appropriate for this forum is if we were all to shut up now.
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others.
Grown men do not need leaders.
If the end does not justify the means - what can?
Might does not make right but it sure makes what is.
Orthodoxy is a relaxation of the mind accompanied by a stiffening of the heart.
The best cure for the ills of democracy is more democracy.
The distrust of wit is the beginning of tyranny.
The ready availability of suicide, like sex and alcohol, is one of life's basic consolations.
Though men now possess the power to dominate and exploit every corner of the natural world, nothing in that fact implies that they have the right or the need to do so.
What is truth? I don't know and I'm sorry I brought it up.
In this world there are two kinds of pinatas my friend, those filled with candy and those filled with nitroglycerine.
Some people wish for peace for our children and their children. This is not enough. We must insist on peace for ourselves.
As to inflation, computers, as economists never tire of telling us, undeniably are cheaper than ever. The question is, though: Have you every tried eating a computer?
I think rational arguments are against the charter of this newsgroup, but what the heck, here are two.
In fact, the ubiquity of the handheld reflects two other key trends among the Baby Boomers: No one has a secretary, and no one can remember a damn thing.
Hey, you've got a whole *dump truck* full of skulls...how are you going to keep track?
I'm of the opinion that everyone at this university, faculty and students alike, should be beaten at least once a year.
...and I was just trying to live my bloody life - you know, get from A to B, and do a little shopping - only to find that in fact life is controlled poorly by bits of *bloody*, *bloody* buggery bits of paper. I mean, why can't life just be made a little bit easier for everybody, you know, I mean why do we play bloody taxes? I know, you know, to buy railings to put outside bloody shops so stupid people can't run into the bloody road, but you know, we're not all stupid. We don't all need nursemaiding. I mean, why not have a stupidity tax, just tax the stupid people!
Dick Cheney's job in the White House will be to oversee the military, foreign affairs, the federal budget, federal agencies, judicial appointments, executive branch hiring and firing, and West Wing office space distribution. Bush can play 36 holes.
I find myself using the word "bandwidth" now, and feel the mounting urge to say "megabit" and "gigabit" and "terabit" as though these are normal words like "tree" and "rock" and "bunny." I've learned the meaning of the word "photonics," and now, like many techies, believe the most important fundamental particle in the communications industry of the future will be the photon, not the electron. You know your world has changed, has become more innately technological, when a distinction like that strikes you as interesting.
If novelty was the essential ingredient of modern art, then repetition is the hallmark of postmodern craft.
The young don't feel any great need to wait for the Walk sign before they cross the street. They feel invulnerable. Over time, you better appreciate the consequences of each action. You see people get burned, you see friends fall apart, you go to a few heartbreaking funerals. You begin to realize that survival requires cunning, and as a hedge, as part of a long-term strategy for improving your odds, you wait on the corner until you get the signal to walk.
Yes, the race is close. But it should be. That's not a sign of unfinished business. That's a sign of a politically mature system. Our two major parties are enormous, amoebic entities, shifting and morphing over time, sliding left and right, subsuming various factions of voters. A perfect system will result in close elections. The only thing that could skew the system is if one party has a truly wonderful, enchanting, superior candidate. This year we don't have that problem.
You know what they say about payback? Well, I'm a bitch.
Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power, corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men.
Hey! Are you people moshing? This is techno. TECH-NO. You don't mosh to techno, you mosh to hardcore. HARD-CORE.
Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double- entry bookkeeping.
In some ways we know more about what happened in the universe's first tenth of a second than we do about what goes on in the interval between "Your place or mine?" and deciding who sleeps on the wet spot.
It's not apples and oranges, but no one paying attention could compare these apples without noticing (a) one is 12 times bigger and (b) both of them are rutabagas.
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
Human beings, being almost unique in their ability to learn from the experiences of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be so outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn't understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was reknowned for being quite clever and quite clearly was so -- but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous. This above all appeared to Trillian to be genuinely stupid, but she could no longer be bothered to argue about.
Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in a moment of reasoned lucidity which is almost unique among its current tally of five million, nine hundred and seventy-three thousand, five hundred and nine pages, says of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products that "it is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all." In other words, - and this is the rock-solid principle on which the whole of the Corporation's Galaxywide success is founded - their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.
The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place.
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
There is a theory which states that if anyone discovers what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
There was a point to this narrative, but it has presently escaped the chronicler's mind.
There's nothing in life so difficult that a Microsoft manual can't make it completely incomprehensible.
We may not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end.
Why is there pain and misery in the world?... Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why didn't Microsoft even put in a word count? These things are unknowable.
Nothing in education is so atonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts
I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy.
It is more beneficial that many guilty persons should escape unpunished than one innocent person should suffer, because it is of more importance that innocence should be protected than it is that guilt should be punished, for guilt and crimes are so frequent in the world that all of them cannot be punished, and many times they happen in such a manner that it is not of much consequence to the public whether they are punished or not. But when innocence itself is brought to the bar and condemned, the subject will exclaim, "it is immaterial to me whether I behave well or ill, for virtue itself is no security." And if such a sentiment as this should take place in the mind of a subject there would be an end to all security whatsoever.
Let justice be done though the heavens should fall.
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
A general dissolution of principles and manners will more surely overthrow the liberties of America than the whole force of the common enemy. While the people are virtuous they cannot be subdued; but when once they lose their virtue then will be ready to surrender their liberties to the first external or internal invader.
As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2,400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
At any given moment, the majority of resources in a capitalist system are being pushed over a cliff by morons.
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
Here's a nickel, kid. Go buy yourself a real computer.
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
In case you ever consider getting off caffeine yourself, let me explain the process. You begin by sitting motionlessly in a desk chair. Then you just keep doing that forever because life has no meaning.
Most of the other suggestions involved doing things that were impractical, obscene or illegal. I tried them all personally, and although I must say I enjoyed several of them they didn't meet all of the criteria for selection.
My business cards have said "engineer" for several years, but that's mostly to impress women.
Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand-new ones. But that's OK because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems.
There are, in general, two ways to predict the future. You can, for example, use horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, a crystal ball, and so forth. Collectively, these are known as the "nutty methods." Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time." While all these approaches have their advantages, I find it's a lot easier and more economical to simply make stuff up.
This web project is the most self-indulgent, egotistical thing I have ever done in my life. But the day is young. I can top it.
Venture capitalist. No doubt about it. Not only does it sound great at parties, but you're expected to fail 90 percent of the time--and that's OK. Some of my best friends are venture capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding.
I can *feel* my hearing impairing.
Is it red or white wine with Tokyo?
ALL television is children's television.
Ignorance of your profession is best concealed by solemnity and silence, which pass for profound knowledge upon the generality of mankind.
This is an air fragrance product. It does not have supernatural powers.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
It's a place used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography together.
You see, that's the difference between us. I assume the best about people, while you assume the worst. So I get hurt, but you get nothing.
Given a choice, the American people would prefer the policeman's truncheon to the anarchist's bomb.
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
I guess life is mean, and death is the median, and purgatory is the mode that we settle in.
A man sometimes devotes his life to a desire which he is not sure will ever be fulfilled. Those who laugh at this folly are, after all, no more than mere spectators of life.
Therefore, the seeker after the truth is not one who studies the writings of the ancients and, following his natural disposition, puts his trust in them, but rather the one who suspects his faith in them and questions what he gathers from them, the one who submits to argument and demonstration, and not to the sayings of a human being whose nature is fraught with all kinds of imperfection and deficiency. The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and…attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency.
It's not TV. It's HBO. TV is a finite idea. "It's not TV" is an infinite idea.
We didn't get here by playing the rules of the game. We got here by setting the rules of the game.
Money is the root of all evil, and yet it is such a useful root that we cannot get on without it any more than we can without potatoes.
So for two minutes on Christmas Eve, while a billion people listened, three astronauts read the Book of Genesis from a tiny metal can a hundred miles above the surface of the moon. Then, mid-sentence, they crashed into the crystal sphere surrounding the world, because it turned out there were far fewer things in Heaven and Earth than were dreamt of in almost anyone’s philosophy.
Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.
firstname.lastname@example.org ... Remove the pants from my email address to reply.
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.
"test my weight on hose holder", what kind of a text adventure command is that? "test my weight", you're not carrying anything called "weight" anyway. As if.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I'm due back on the planet Earth now.
If only god would give me a sign... like making a large deposit in my name to a swiss bank account.
If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
More puzzled intellectuals declaring their mystification over the systematic murder of millions. The reason they can never answer the question, 'How could it possibly happen?' is that it is the wrong question. Given what people are, the real question is, 'Why doesn't it happen more often?' But of course it does, just in smaller ways.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
There is some sort of perverse pleasure in knowing that it's basically impossible to send a piece of hate mail through the Internet without its being touched by a gay program.
Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself -- and then a couple of more feet, just to be sure.
There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network.
117 documents match your query. Search Amazon.com for top-selling titles about +dwarf +"pubic hair".
I was hoping your server was a huge, custom, Area 51-type of thing, Frankensteinian, a mammoth gigaswitch, a MAE-Faisal, but held together with duct tape and prayer. You disappoint me.
General flames go to alt.flame. Flaming the entire AOL community goes to alt.aol-sucks.
Well, he's not psycho or addicted to anything, he's got a job, and he's doing the school thing; this is a step up for me.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
The first Internet Cult Mass Murder.... I've got your information highway RIGHT HERE buddy!
You can work long, hard, or smart; pick any three.
Writing this entry felt like arguing on IRC; please don't make me do it again.
"Salad Days?" That's not then. It's now. It is always now. So go. Make it real -- now. Do it, right here, right now. Do it.
The number one problem in our country is apathy ... But who cares!
"Machiavelli's The Little Prince" - Antoine de Saint-Exupery's classic children's tale as presented by Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.
Remember, the Christmas Spirit is not what you drink.
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
He's not working... he's suppressing an uncontrollable user!
The 5-year-old sitting near me pretty much summed it up ("I think director Andrew Stanton is indulging himself in Godardian semiotics.")
My plan for improving the quality of presentations used to be two-fold: DESTROY EVERY COPY OF POWERPOINT (and assorted functional clones) in existence, and GIVE OFFENDERS REMEDIAL "HOW TO TALK" CLASSES, emphasizing the content-based logical mark-up portions of HTML as a mechanism for making slides. (The hardcore hopeless cases would be forced to learn TeX.) Now, however, I think there needs to be a third step: BIG BIRD MUST DIE.
Cramer's show is just another stupid tax, like a state lottery, or cigarettes.
Increasingly, we go to a company and we find not a company but a product. Increasingly, that product is not so much a product but features of a product, and increasingly, those features are not features but an idea.
It all comes down to one thing: whether we are building a burger or a company. If we are building a burger, we take every customer that comes along and cash the checks as quickly as we can, but if we're building a company, we say no to any company that distracts us from the long-term mission. ... A burger is meant to be flipped, whereas a company is meant to be here for the long term. It's the central issue in this company and it affects every decision we make. It affects who we hire, how we spend our money, how we incentivize our people, and whether we accept a customer that doesn't necessarily fit into our business model. We aren't in the burger business.
Java Navigator will have a lot of good attributes: It's slower. It will crash more and have fewer features. So you can do fewer things. It will simplify your life.
Power wears out those who don't have it.
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I think most folks that are hooked up are like me, and suspect they hit the love lottery, but they haven't finished scratching off the ticket yet.
God has made Canada one of those nations which cannot be conquered and cannot be destroyed, except by itself.
At least in kindergarten when the regular teacher was out the substitute would let us color, but this is ridiculous. How do I fill an entire 6 hour day with no work to do. I wonder if this was in the investor prospectus under "forward looking statements?"
Que es el problema ahora? <--- sample of a Spanish version of SQL
Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.
If our universe was a simulation you could totally tell. There’d be things like a fastest possible speed or a smallest possible size or a lowest possible temperature, or events wouldn’t actually be computed until they were observed by a player (you know, for computational efficiency).
I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows.
Before the tragedy of September 11th the only thing scary about Anthrax was our bad hair in the 80's and the "Fistful Of Metal" album cover.
It is so easy to miss pretty trivial solutions to problems deemed complicated. The goal of a scientist is to find an interesting problem, and live off it for a while. The goal of an engineer is to evade interesting problems.
Unix gives you enough rope to shoot yourself in the foot.
I knew the gratuitous bra scene had to be CGI. The curve of Julia Roberts' breasts was too reminiscent of the Sterns-Rahaja pertness algorithm.
Kevin, your wit is tepid and lacking in spirit. You are as a small flower which, when carried upon the wind's harrowing passages, is thrown hither and thither, never reaching safe ground to spread its roots. And therefore, just as the flower, your feeble witicisms die from lack of nitrogen.
My friend Stew says I don't quallify for Gen X because I've never done any telemarketing.
Okay everybody, let's all play the new game show, 'gay or canadian?'
Today, we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directives. We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure idealogy, where each worker may be bloom secure from the pests of contradictory and confusing truths. Our unification of thought is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on earth. We are one people, with one will, one resolve, one cause. Our enemies shall talk themselves to death and we will bury them with their own confusion. We shall prevail.
A typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your program.
...And the lord said, 'lo, there shall only be case or default labels inside a switch statement.'
This struct already has a perfectly good definition.
Too many errors on one line (make fewer).
We already did this function.
There is a life-size picture of a dogcow conveniently located in the Finder. Look under "Page Setup..." Now look under "Options." Like any talented dog, it can do flips. Like any talented cow, it can do precision bitmap alignment.
Did it not occur to you to automatically know where to look?
Nothing is intrinsically good or evil, but its manner of usage may make it so.
Live together like brothers and do business like strangers.
Trust in God, but tie your camel.
When a stranger appears at your door, feed him for three days before asking who he is, where he's come from, where he's headed. That way, he'll have strength enough to answer or you'll be such good friends you don't care.
Crotch Masculine Deodorant Spray. When a man wants to feel good, he reaches for his Crotch.
goddamnit! my duck is broken....this sucks
marilyn manson action figures, now with controlable satanism.
The only reason to invest your life into making things is because making the thing is more important than your comfort.
we can look at the roxy as a state of mind. A sort of head space if you will. every where is the roxy if you choose to look at it in the right light. (hell:the disco that never closes, and has no bathrooms)
welcome to shadowscene, the land of the dark and stupid. so dark, even our ideas appear as black lights... or something like that. and the bounds of our stupidity is only matched by the length of that goddamn ... thread.
you know I made several points that were way better and more intelegent then that. but they didnt include them cause the media sucks.
Don't you dare think that this girl lets you off the hook, star star star starlette star star star. This isn't like most mailing lists, where we ritually torture the new list member until someone else shows up. This is psychoburbia, where, if you're dumb, we'll just beat you mercilessly with lead pipes until the next idiot dares pull their head out of the sand, and then we'll beat them, too.
It's a little-known fact that videos with giant robots, shiny bodysuits, fast motorcycles and expensive computer-generated cityscapes are COMPLETELY wasted on the music of Shania Twain.
Like most other "sexy" articles of women's clothing, it puts men in "the mood" and the woman wearing it in the mood to chuck it in the trash and sit in a bathtub with a box of Hershey's Kisses until her toes look like prunes.
Please do not speak. It will only save you embarassment in the future.
we in the psychiatric community have a special term for people like John ... "stark staring bonkers"
Welcome to the Babbage's of Infinite Delights. I am the proprietor of this establishment. My name is Lo Pan. We have wonders from all four corners of the globe. Everything you seek is here. But be warned...that which you desire most, comes with a most horrible price... You seek a Legend of Zelda cartridge. We do indeed carry such an item... but it carries a terrrrible curse....
You could get an iMac, but generally speaking, iMacs are something you win, not something you buy.
In many ways, Rome without coffee is like having your car stolen.
The wise learn many things from their enemies.
There was never a great genius without a tincture of madness.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
Sleep is actually a good substitute for coffee
Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
If i promise to miss you will you go away?
Okay, you know you're getting old when "teen sluts" no longer turn you on cause they're way too young for you, and besides, they can't buy you a beer.
I’ve been in a Tesla before but this is the first time I’ve driven one. With no gears and a silent motor, the experience is like driving a golf cart. At least it would be if golf carts could hit 100 mph on the freeway on-ramp and hug the road like it was glued there.
AMD is running the Athlon's from Dresden at around 1.1GHz. These chips are manufactured using the .18 micron process and use copper interconnects (in much the same way that the Coppermine from Intel doesn't).
Remember, we were the lazy kids without ambition who weren't taking well to all that commodification and advertising... then we got sucked into the "new" economy, bought SUVs and toys... then learned the new economy was really just the old economy with a website, got laid off and then got in touch with the old crew about "maybe getting the band back together". So, we'll be back to being gutter bohemians in no time... albeit with more techinical know-how than sense.
Drugs are for the weak. Yoohoo is for the hardcore.
Good ... Bad ... I'm the guy with the GUN!
It's a trick...get an axe.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
Science does not promise absolute truth, nor does it consider that such a thing necessarily exists. Science does not even promise that everything in the Universe is amenable to the scientific process.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny..."
I don't like the way [Independance Day] ended. The humans shouldn't have won. That movie should have ended with a smoldering planet and the aliens laughing and drinking beer and using our resources.
The penalty of success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.
It's the crazy aunt in the attic. Everyone knows she's there, but you can't say anything about it.
Instant Hangover: just remove water.
Never believe anything until it's officially denied.
Perhaps some future [D&D] variation may even take a cue from recursive movies like "Being John Malkovich" and the "Scream" series. In it, you'd play a game-company vice president with the Bard-like name of Dancey. To win, you'd need to regain the trust of e mbittered former loyalists and guide them through the bizarre Astral Plane known as the Internet -- where a cruel kingdom called Microsoft battles a guild of gnome-like tinkerers and their nebbishy leader, a sorcerer from faraway Finland, the one with an unpronounceable name and a magic penguin.
No poet or novelist wishes he were the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish the were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.
Only the free have disposition to be truthful. Only the truthful have the interest to be just. Only the just possess the willpower to be free.
SIP is a protocol that seems as if designed to have a set of concentric target rings on its back over the words "shoot me".
Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe.
The optimum committee has no members.
Often a non-Christian knows something about the earth, the heavens, and the other parts of the world, about the motions and orbits of the stars and even their sizes and distances,... and this knowledge he holds with certainty from reason and experience. It is thus offensive and disgraceful for an unbeliever to hear a Christian talk nonsense about such things, claiming that what he is saying is based in Scripture. We should do all that we can to avoid such an embarrassing situation, which people see as ignorance in the Christian and laugh to scorn.
My family and I are like oil and water, if oil made water depressed and angry and want to kill itself.
You cannot have too large a party.
... problems continue in the South African black townships. Four people were killed in violent clashes yesterday. A black spokesman said - this situation is a tragedy for our people; we get no help from the government; blacks are dying and all the whites can do is talk about cricket.... Last night at the Sydney Cricket Ground, the South African cricket team defeated Australia in the day-night match .....
All photography is accurate - none of it is truth.
It's just so strange to me that anyone would ever think that a work of art shouldn't be disturbing, or shouldn't be invasive. I mean, that's the property of a work of art, that's the arena of a work of art - it's to disturb, it's to make you think, it's to make you feel. If my work didn't disturb people from time to time, it would be a failure in my eyes - it's meant to disturb, in a positive way.
The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but that we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway.
...one of the important steps in a young fan's journey to maturity is realizing that Heinlein's ability to sound as if he knew what he was talking about was much greater than his ability to actually know what he was talking about.
Tell me, does he believe in God and do they have any colonies?